I had told myself that I wasn’t going to talk about this and I had already read a post by The Afro Attorney. I was all good, this was one of the things that were I was going to swallow and forget. BUT! I got annoyed yesterday and told the wrong person off which I rarely do, I always make sure I insult the right person. And I, at this point don’t care if people come for me.
I am livid. Over the last few days, a few boys have had the audacity to ask me if I can cook because Pastor Adeboye said you shouldn’t marry a girl if she can’t cook, among a few other ridiculous and superficial reasons. When did sanctity of marriage become so tarnished by a list of things to check off? Can she cook? Check. Does he have a good paying job? Check. Is she willing to shut up and obey your every command? Check. Utter nonsense.
Yes, he is a pastor and I am just an unfiltered eighteen-year-old but it doesn’t stop me from calling it out. Don’t come to me swimming in your tears, talking about “it’s just his opinion”. I can spout my opinion because this is MY blog, but when you have a church, GODS’ church- your opinion has no seat in the congregation. I can’t find any biblical backings to such statements. I find it insulting and disturbing that this is the propaganda people are being fed and nobody is taking the time to open their Bibles.
I have always been in awe of people who can pray for over thirty minutes, I just can’t so I have another way. I don’t know how y’all pray, but I can give you a rundown of my day in which I say my 5-10 morning prayer and spend the rest of the day complaining/asking/talking to God like I would a friend (cause he is). I talk to Him about several things and at night I finish up my day by thanking him for my life and everyone else’s’. I wasn’t brought up to think prayer was a long and serious lecture, my relationship with God is an ongoing conversation, not some long story. #QualityoverQuantity. Oh and News Flash: I hate cooking. Is it cause I’m lazy? Nope. Can I cook? Your food has nothing on mine. I just don’t like it. It is not my job as a female to cook, clean, wash. Nope nope. They are basic human skills, learn em or don’t. I think, if I was to ever get married I would be a kick-ass wife. Being a wife isn’t about all the physical things you can do. To limit your “wifeness” to the physical activities you perform and spirituality that should never be measured is insulting so many different levels.
There comes a point where you are going to have to pick between your tradition or religion.Both can’t be so tightly woven or interchanged when necessary to win a particular argument. One has to take precedence, a massive head start. I have chosen religion (Yoruba and Edo won’t take me heaven) in which the same basic morals ,respect, love, humility e.t.c are taught. If you choose your tradition, don’t support #ChildNotBride, feel free to give your children tribal marks and let your husband marry several wives and be ready to cook till your blood mixes with the rice. And if you choose your religion, don’t be moaning about your wife not being chained to the stove and deciding to have a career.
Next time you want to ask a girl if she can cook, look down at your hands, you got em? Head to the kitchen. It’s not that serious. Girls, you want to cook for your man, I will support you but never feel like it’s something you have to do.
I was always taught that you don’t follow pastor, you follow God. If you aren’t sure about what the pastor said, for the love of the God you went to church to meet, open your Bible.