WIFEY OR NAH?

I had told myself that I wasn’t going to talk about this and I had already read a post by The Afro Attorney. I was all good, this was one of the things that were I was going to swallow and forget. BUT! I got annoyed yesterday and told the wrong person off which I rarely do, I always make sure I insult the right person. And I, at this point don’t care if people come for me.

I am livid. Over the last few days, a few boys have had the audacity to ask me if I can cook because Pastor Adeboye said you shouldn’t marry a girl if she can’t cook, among a few other ridiculous and superficial reasons. When did sanctity of marriage become so tarnished by a list of things to check off? Can she cook? Check. Does he have a good paying job? Check. Is she willing to shut up and obey your every command? Check. Utter nonsense.

Yes, he is a pastor and I am just an unfiltered eighteen-year-old but it doesn’t stop me from calling it out. Don’t come to me swimming in your tears, talking about “it’s just his opinion”. I can spout my opinion because this is MY blog, but when you have a church, GODS’ church- your opinion has no seat in the congregation. I can’t find any biblical backings to such statements. I find it insulting and disturbing that this is the propaganda people are being fed and nobody is taking the time to open their Bibles.

I have always been in awe of people who can pray for over thirty minutes, I just can’t so I have another way. I don’t know how y’all pray, but I can give you a rundown of my day in which I say my 5-10 morning prayer and spend the rest of the day complaining/asking/talking to God like I would a friend (cause he is). I talk to Him about several things and at night I finish up my day by thanking him for my life and everyone else’s’. I wasn’t brought up to think prayer was a long and serious lecture, my relationship with God is an ongoing conversation, not some long story. #QualityoverQuantity. Oh and News Flash: I hate cooking. Is it cause I’m lazy? Nope. Can I cook? Your food has nothing on mine. I just don’t like it. It is not my job as a female to cook, clean, wash. Nope nope. They are basic human skills, learn em or don’t. I think, if I was to ever get married I would be a kick-ass wife. Being a wife isn’t about all the physical things you can do. To limit your “wifeness” to the physical activities you perform and spirituality that should never be measured is insulting so many different levels.

There comes a point where you are going to have to pick between your tradition or religion.Both can’t be so tightly woven or interchanged when necessary to win a particular argument. One has to take precedence, a massive head start. I have chosen religion (Yoruba and Edo won’t take me heaven) in which the same basic morals ,respect, love, humility e.t.c are taught. If you choose your tradition, don’t support #ChildNotBride, feel free to give your children tribal marks and let your husband marry several wives and be ready to cook till your blood mixes with the rice. And if you choose your religion, don’t be moaning about your wife not being chained to the stove and deciding to have a career.

Next time you want to ask a girl if she can cook, look down at your hands, you got em? Head to the kitchen. It’s not that serious. Girls, you want to cook for your man, I will support you but never feel like it’s something you have to do.

I was always taught that you don’t follow pastor, you follow God. If you aren’t sure about what the pastor said, for the love of the God you went to church to meet, open your Bible.

 

TO WHAT WORLD?

It’s no real secret that I don’t really want kids. Some days I waver, but for the most part, I would like to keep my womb in its original state – empty. The times I do waver, I think about playing hide and seek and about walking down the street with my kids holding on to my little fingers with their even smaller fingers. What a picture.

But now, I’m worried, would I be playing peek-a-boo with my son or would I have to pick out his 12-year-old body out in a morgue? Would I be walking down the street skipping with my daughter and playing games or would we be running for shelter from bombs and stray bullets? I want to say it can’t happen, but the bottom line is nobody knows who is next. I have retweeted so many hashtags.

It is sad that in a few years, my uncle may have to teach his son who is currently a drooling one-year-old infant, the proper way to speak, to behave in public so as to not be shot, to keep his eyes open. I would have to explain to my kids, my friends’ kids, my sisters kids that that kid in their class was killed because of his melanin. I would have to explain the word “racism” to little children. I would be forced to watch the flash of shock in their eyes as they look down and realize that they are the same color as their classmate.

Just because we are magic, doesn’t mean we are not real” -Jesse Williams

So if I was to ever change my mind and have children, to what the world am I bring them to? The one of ISIS and Boko Haram? The one of police brutality and incessant racism? The one of Donald Trump? Yes, I am throwing massive shade.

My heart is heavy and I pray for peace more that I pray for myself. I pray for healing more than I pray for favour.I pray for mercy.

‘Till the next one.

Please be safe, you can’t be another hashtag.

WHAT ARE WE PRAYING FOR?

bomb

I can’t count the number of times I’ve knelt down to pray in the last week and a half and although the hashtags trend I need to ask, what exactly it is we are all praying for?

About two weeks ago, a two-year-old lost his life in Disney land when he was dragged into a lagoon by an alligator,  social media responded in an appalling manner ( I have too much faith in this generation). The comments were not of condolence or sympathy; instead, twitter proceeded to berate the child’s parents for neglecting their child insinuating that they deserved this.

A few days after that, ‘Pulse’, a gay club in Orlando, Florida were shot up resulting in the loss of fifty lives and again social media made me cringe. For the thousands of people who sympathized with the families of the victims and the survivors, thousands more made known their belief that it was God punishing the clubgoers for their sinful lifestyles. For being gay, just like the parents of that two-year-old boy, they were asking for it.

In the last week, the death toll has been over 400 with terrorists being responsible for about 350. And as I write this there is news that another bomb blast occurred in Lebanon today and now in Medina. Yet some people still say that this is the Middle Easts’ problem, after all, they are Muslims as well. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

I have put myself in the shoes of the father who dove into alligator infested waters and was attacked in the hopes of saving my son’s life. I imagined been a mom getting a text from her son that there is a shooting at the club he is and waiting for him to come home, realizing he never will. I imagine walking down the street and realizing the people next to me are dead and I’m staring at the carnage. I might just die of shock on the spot.

At a young age, my parents taught me that at the end of it all, it doesn’t matter what a person looks like or where he comes from, we are all the same on the inside. From that, I learned empathy, I don’t pray the entire world lines up with my views and I try very hard to not point fingers. Not that I am perfect but I am quite aware that there are people who do point fingers and I wonder what they mean when they say #PrayFor….?

I can’t even muster up the energy to be angry or to rant I’m just sad. The world isn’t perfect and it sure as hell isn’t peaceful. But we hope. In the meantime, we pray for empathy and the next time something bad happens, we #PrayForPeace

‘Till the next time. Goodnight

 

 

Lost Ones. 

This is by my amazing friend Fumbi Ajumobi. Who evidently, is a better writer than I am. So, out of pure jealousy and intimidation I had to steal it. Enjoy! 

I return to my grave to get inspired.

There lies my creativity.

Murdered my own loving parents in an effort to raise me “properly”.

I was killed for my own sake
There are several others at the graveyard

each with a story to tell about their gruesome murder.

Some died in an effort to Grow Up to face their harsh reality.

Others died,having discovered the evils of this world, unable to cope with it.


We that visit the grave are the lucky ones.

There are those whose souls are buried unmarked in the depths of their hearts.

You recognise them by the emptiness of their eyes,a mirror image of their lives


At least,I have a place to seek solace

At least I had loving parents

At least I died for my own sake.


If you look close enough,you just might see the twinkle in my eye…  


I’m back, for realsies. I promise 

Hello people! I am terribly sorry. I basically told u I wasn’t going to run away , then I disappeared. I’m back now. For reals. School and school prep has been riding up my butt. If you got a graphic image of a wedgie, you are welcome ☺️. Now I am somewhat settled so, I can actually write like i care. 

So that being said, see ya 🤓

IMMMMMM BAACCCK PEOPLE!

Hello, it has been forever. How do you do? I breathe. So we cant complain.

I have thought about it and have decided to not shut down this blog. My decision, of course has nothing to do with the emotional blackmail I got from my friends or the threats to my hair. It was all my choice. Are you convinced? No? Me neither.

I can’t exactly pinpoint what it is, but it just feels wrong to tear it all down, especially remembering the long pep talk i gave myself when I began a year ago. ITS BEEN A YEAR! So I stay. I stay because over the last few days I realized that I have a lot more things to say, a few more controversial than the next. I stay because typing out my thoughts definitely beats walking down the street in a full on conversation with myself. I am not crazy! I stay because i am quite proud of myself for having actually started this. Are you touched yet? No? You suck.

Now, lets talk changes.. I will probably rebuild this site. I will buy the domain, the very day i can get my lazy behind to actually pay. So, over the next few weeks or months (depending on how productive I am, the site will probably change. I like the color scheme now, but i may get hormonal and decide to go goth. I may branch out and discuss new topics and actually give tips instead of berate the entire human race. Don’t get your hopes up, I said MAY.

Other than that, I am thankful to those who actually read my posts. I hope you keep reading. Thank you 🙂

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” – Prov 3:5

Till the next rant!

Sabbatical

Hello readers,

I am sorry that I have not posted in quite a bit and I am sorry but I don’t think I will be for a while. To be honest, I am seriously considering shutting down this entire thing. 

It seems to me that I am just ranting by myself and to myself. When I started this, it was meant to be an interactive forum where we could talk about topics that bugged us. I seem to be the only one bothered. 

I haven’t come to a solid decision yet, but it will be soon ( I hope). 

Hope you have a great week and God Bless