I am a feminist. And I am tired of talking about it. That means talking about it to men, women including other feminists. I just want to stock up on feminists t-shirts and go live my life. This fight for something obvious and important is so exhausting, which could be said about the black lives matter movement.

I am at the point in life where I assume that if you are not a feminist, you will never be one, and there is no sense in trying to convince you. I just mark it as a malfunctioning of something in your life, either environmental or internal and I decide to limit/cut off all subsequent conversations.

It is extremely hard for me having grown up in a family where my uncles had been treated exactly like my mom. My father told me when I was younger that whatever a boy could do I could do five times better (come to me with that “can you make a baby by yourself” argument and see what happens). The idea that my genitalia which I had no control over makes me in some way sub par to a man is utterly ludicrous.

I’m not even talking about the feminists that don’t want to shave their body hair or feel pressured into dressing more masculine to be taken seriously in the task force. I am a do what makes you happy kinda chick. I am talking about the basic, have autonomy over your body and life, and get paid the same amount kinda thing. I am speaking about husbands treating their wives as equals with respect and not batter them from pillar to post thing. Is this so bizarre to think that we should be treated with decency?

I tweeted that since summer is here, the boys who yell out their cars in an attempt to get females reactions have returned. Please, please, please someone explain to me how yelling “Aye yo ma”, followed by whistling and kissing sounds is respectful? I’ll wait. Write in the comment section. It is not a compliment. I am also tired of the ignoramuses that come with “well it’s better than it used to be.” Fam! Black people are no longer slaves in America, does that make the situation at hand any better?

The idea that I am someone’s property or that I am incapable of taking care of myself makes me tired. A man trying to explain what being a woman is too me or defining a lady and the ways I don’t fit the parameters make me want to scream.  I just want women to feel safe, to feel respected and I just wish this wasn’t a movement. Just the norm.

PSA: This is in no way discrediting the struggles men go through in today’s society. I am a woman. I can only speak from this perspective.

Till the next rant, Thanks for sticking around!



Earlier today I was talking to a friend about a leech-like friend of hers when I had a flashback. So I might as well share it with ya

A couple years ago, on on sunny afternoon, I was walking down a shady street, enjoying the silent morbidity of my thoughts when the man walking in front of me abruptly turned around and stood waiting. I looked over my shoulder to see who he could be waiting for me and found the street deserted and my tummy fell to my knees. I walked up to him and was about to walk past like I hadn’t noticed his unusual behavior when he put his hand on my wrist. My skin crawled. He introduced himself, gave me a brief history of his life. I zoned out but I remember that he was a 31 year old engineer. He then asked for my life story in return and I refused. He couldn’t understand why I wasn’t willing to tell a complete stranger about my life. He asked for my number and mercifully, my phone has just crashed so I could honestly tell him that I didn’t one. With all the naivety and innocence I could conjure up, I asked him if he would like my mother’s phone number. He was taken aback and told me that my mother couldn’t know what was going on between the two of us.Then it was my turn to be shocked, and I told him that I wasn’t aware that we had a relationship. He then proceeded to explain that i was going to be his girlfriend. He didn’t ask me, he told me.

The pedophile alert in my brain in my head starting to ring and I began to back away. He moved closer and proceeded to tell me about how we were going to have an amazing relationship where he was going to buy me things and I would come over, cook and we would hang out. I kindly declined and was about to go when he cut in front of me, yet again. This man began to tell me how a girl like me, needed a man like him and how I would be back to beg him. I politely told him that there was no way in hell that was going to happen. He then insisted on walking me home to which I vehemently declined. Ain’t nobody got time for a stalker.

I was eventually able to walk around him and hurry in the direction of my house. I relayed the story to the inhabitants of my house which garnered lots of laughs and teasing. Back then, I didn’t think much about it other than it being an encounter with a complete weirdo but now that I am a tad older I see it as what it is, pedophilia. I wonder how many people know that having a romantic relationship with a minor is a crime for which they could find themselves behind bars. If a man truly loves you, he will wait until you blossom into an adult. It doesn’t matter what he promises you, a true man will wait till you are ready.

It also dawned on me that no matter what age I would have been, the man wasn’t looking for a relationship with an equal or a friend. He was just too cheap to hire a housekeeper. By telling me, a complete stranger that he expected me to come and cook for him (while keeping more unsuspecting parents in the dark) showed that he would never respect me or value me as a person and my feelings would have to take a backseat. I would always be a young, stupid girl that he could lord over. And by informing me that I would be back to beg him revealed his massive ego. There are many men like that, men who don’t see you as anything but a pretty pack mule who they can lure into their bed. Beware; many abortions are as a result of men like these. You don’t want to ruin your life for a man who won’t marry you and most likely has a wife already.

It’s been two years and somehow I don’t need him and never will, and you don’t need them either. Since, I tend to write when the suns already down, I am dozing off and fighting through the ritual hand cramp so thanks for reading!

Till the next rant, stay away from peds. Good night!!


I am not going to pretend like this is my first post; the actual first was a preview of the verbal lunatic in me and since I am not out to scare anybody, it has been taken down. I’m not going to give you the impression that I am a vague, cool and savvy chick with deep thoughts and a love for the 80s (didn’t even exist then). I am just a midget who needs chocolate to breathe with  a deep need to be inspired. I like to think that I am a defender of the downtrodden, a cheerleader for the victims of prejudice. It is prejudice, in all ramifications that spurred me to create this blog. Also, because I am a chatterbox.

Although I am a stubborn feminist, who abhors all male chauvinists and welcomes every opportunity to put the impertinent young men of my generation in their proper corner, somehow at 1:10 am, I am not upset at the xenophobes that so often raise my blood pressure. In fact, they are the victims of today. As I sit here, panties are bunching up tighter and tighter as I think about the conversation I eavesdropped on (Bemoaning my amebo ways right now). I was walking what is a formidable distance for my tiny size 5 feet when I heard these girls talking.

DISCLAIMER: The boys and girls have been given new aliases; I don’t know them but whatever…

Fey and Jane were so deep in discussion about two boys, Michael and ‘Gabriel’ that they didn’t even notice that I was trailing them at a close distance. These two boys had apparently asked ‘Jane’ out. The boys were polar opposites and poor Jane was confused, Michael being the sweet and caring soul and Gabriel being the basic rich bad ass. Of the two boys, Jane preferred Michael, seeing as he was more humane. Her friend had contrary opinions saying “Say yes to Gabriel juh, will caring buy you airtime or a valentine present?” When the fact that Gabriel was a ladies man was introduced, Fey told Jane to make sure Gabriel was given everything he wanted including her time, love and an occasional home cooked meal. HA!

In the back of my mind I was praying that ‘Jane’ would contest the idea but she seemed to be considering the possibility of becoming Gabriels’ on call nanny. At that point, I was tired, hungry and angry that my ofofo had turned sour. In summary, I was thoroughly revolted. So I walked around them and hurried towards my destination with thoughts of cool air, comfy chairs and good food filling my brain. A little while after that, it dawned on me that girls like ‘Fey’ and ‘Jane’ are the bedrock of most of the sexist stereotypes that plague the strong females of this generation.

So to all the Feys and Janes out there, here’s a bit of free advice.

  1. It is absolutely disgusting to date someone solely for monetary gain. It shows an abject lack of character, materialism at its very best. It is a disgrace to the entire female specie. Date a guy for what is in his brain rather than his bank account, it pays more.
  2. For all the ‘Janes’ out there that are contemplating or actually dating ‘Gabriels’, may God help you! If you can’t decide on the kind of guys you want to be around at this point in your life, and the thought of an irresponsible young man entices you, more ‘Gabriels’ will sit at your doorstep and whisper sweet nothings to you. Drink a lot of water, your tear ducts will need it when you get dropped. You attract what you are.
  3. To those girls who believe that they can change a playboy, I’m not knocking down the possibility but your chances are a little slim to none. Channel your energy into something else. You will miss out on life and entertain a lot of heartbreak and shame. Don’t lose your individuality and youth while vying for the attention and affection of a man-whore. Excuse my french.
  4. If you aren’t emotionally ready to handle the work required for a good and HEALTHY relationship, don’t entertain the thought. It saves the entire human race a lot of damage control. You can do something else in the meantime.

It is now 1:50 am and I have a hand cramp. I believe I have successfully ranted and I hope you got something useful out of it. I am late for a meeting with my bed so…. yeah

Till the next rant, Ciao